All right, I headed off to my appointment with the idea of just getting new lower temporaries put in. I wouldn’t need my sedatives, just a couple of deep breathing exercises. Piece of cake! shouldn’t take long at all.

Sat down at the waiting area and we chatted up with the two girls behind the counter. Got a little wind that it was Dr. Nirav’s child’s birthday over the weekend and we were informed to ask him about it. LOL. Pretty funny.

After chatting and watching Dr. Nirav walk through the area, he stops and points at me and says… did you take your tablets yet? I said No with a look of question, that that’s all your doing today right? I shouldn’t need them?

He says…. ok ok, just wait, we may have to take impressions now. I turned to look at Lyn with Horror. Then back to the girls behind the counter…. WWWHHHHYYYYYYEYEEEEEEEE!

Dr. Nirav comes back out and shows me the temporaries that he had received from the lab – they were shit disgusting! Dr. Nirav was pissed at what he received back! Plus… the permanent ones being made, someone there had dropped the mould and broke it! Oh Come On!! Do any of these people know who they are dealing with? ME!!

Nirav says to take just one tablet. Only need to do lower impressions and I’m really good at these. Then he’ll need another impression with the current bridge on as well. But then he’ll just piece these back together like before.

So I lay back in the chair, 1 tablet kickin in, got my iphone songs ready and waited to relax. I started to shiver instead. Nerves were kicking in and I started to shiver. Out comes a blanket. Dr. Nirav asks me if I want my mouth numbed and I said yes, I would prefer not to feel anything, Done…

Then I see the tray of goop approaching my mouth and I got really tensed up and nervous. This was suppose to be the easiest part for me. Never had lower impression problems but I could feel the back of my throat closing up and dry from my nerves that I could gag easily. So Dr. Nirav asked if I wanted to take the second tablet. And Lyn, the nurse all nodded and said.. take it. Well I felt like shit after taking that second one. Depressed. I wanted to show that I could do this and I couldn’t. I felt humiliated and upset. So Dr. Nirav left the room for a cuppa tea so he could wait for the other pill to take affect, and Lyn rolled her chair closer to me and handed me  a tissue because I couldn’t stop the disappointed tears from falling. I fell weak. And saddened and so hurt.

Finally I let Dr. Nirav do what he needed to do. I closed my eyes and felt the tray go in and hold it there for about a minute. I was relaxed by now and just taking everything in and accepting it. The pills had calmed me down enough that I had stopped the tremors from rocking out my legs. Lyn still holding my hand. After those he pried off the pieces of the old bridge and then another set of impressions were done again. Then the puzzle pieces were put back together in my mouth. And I was ready to go home.

It was an easy easy appointment but I’m the one that made it so difficult. I felt so guilty for acting all cry-baby-ish around Dr. Nirav. Embarrassed and ashamed. I thought I could handle today…. I couldn’t do it.

It’s now 6:45pm… I”ve been in and out of sleep since I got home. Wake up, eat, sleep. Wake up, go pee, sleep. Wake up, feed Ty and Missy, Sleep. Wake up, blogging, will probably stay awake now for a few, then back for a final full nights sleep.